Counselling, psychotherapy and supervision in Fulham, Bayswater and Market Harborough.
I am a psychotherapist and counsellor with a private practice in Market Harborough, Leicestershire; also Fulham, and Bayswater in central London. I am a senior therapist at the 'Mindtalk' group in Market Harborough, and also provide professional group or individual supervision to other therapists. I work with sensitivity and respect together with you, to offer help in the face of particular problems or the most prolonged and intense difficulties.
For example, I work with the following issues:
Stress and anxiety
Problems with confidence, self-esteem
Dealing with loss
Family and parenting difficulties
Problems at work
Eating disorders, self harm
Trauma, Post Traumatic Stress
Unresolved issues from the past, abuse
Dreams and nightmares
I provide caring and sensitive counselling and psychotherapy for a wide range of problems and blocks and use psychotherapy for growth and life's enhancement. My approach is transpersonal and integrative, including the use of EMDR when appropriate - see the FAQ page for an explanation. You can see a video of me introducing myself on YouTube.
"I know from experience that this really can work. You don't have to settle for just surviving." Follow @adlpsycotherapy
If you live or work in the Central London areas of Bayswater or Fulham, or near Market Harborough in Leicestershire and are interested in counselling or psychotherapy, supervision or EMDR, to discuss how I might be able to help you please contact me and I will be happy to arrange an appointment for you.
My approach is guided by you, and depends on trust in the relationship. Sometimes therapy looks like 'just talking' - although a great deal is going on in that process, with the client doing most of the talking as they explore their thoughts and feelings about the issues they bring.
As counsellor in central London my rooms are conveniently located 5 minutes walk from the tube station at Bayswater and a stone's throw from Kensington Gardens, Hyde Park in a characterful Edwardian building that used to house the offices of Spike Milligan. I also practice at Thrive@SW6, in Fulham Broadway. In Market Harborough my psychotherapy practice is located in discreet cosy rooms with easy parking right in the town center.
Below I outline two other aspects of the way I sometimes work.
Working through body awareness
Increasingly, I have become convinced that an effective, gentle and profound way to access real and permanent change is through working with the way feelings and traumatic reactions become trapped in the body. By gently guiding the client to bring sensations to awareness as they are sharing their thoughts and feelings, and working with them positively it is possible to create release from trauma which may have unconsciously been trapped for years. How this looks is like the client simply sitting in their chair, concentrating on the sensations in their body, and sharing with, being watched and guided by the therapist. The release of previously trapped feeling is experienced as a sense of gentle expansion, of awareness of the wider room and the world outside in central London or Market Harborough, and a shift to lightness of mood, pleasant humour and a sense of connection both inside the self, and to the therapist and others. There is a wealth of neurological research - polyvagal theory is one angle, Somatic Experiencing another - to explain and support why and how this works.
Working with dreams and images
Have a look at my Articles and Workshops page to read about the value of working with dreams. Their powerful images, feelings, and their freedom from the 'sense' imposed by your consious self offer a way to connect with yourself - that 'aha! awareness - that we simply can't gain by ourselves or with the aid of books. The purpose is not to impose a generalised meaning, but instead to find the meaning that is unique to the individual, through exploring by way of the dreamer's own associations. Often the deep meaning is accessed by making contact with with the essence of feeling in the dream. When a deeper level of connection with self is made, change happens.
I regularly run a series of experiential workshops for counsellors and therapists in Market Harborough and Little Venice, Central London, on Working with Dreams.
Endorsements: "Brilliant day, enjoyed it, left feeling uplifted, not overwhelmed. Pace of day was just right." "Really enjoyed the day and powerful learning", "Stimulating and valuable content, practical and helpful in my work", "Very useful content. Great to put into practise.
Do enquire if you would like to know more. For counsellors and psychotherapists and those in training.
This Month's Blog:
Boundaries - How to Recognise Them and Why They Matter
Our right to claim what is or is not OK for us in relation to others is essential to our wellbeing. When we’re unclear about this, we’re left carrying a burden of anxiety and stress. Boundaries protect the core of our identity and our right to make choices. They keep us free from resentment, so we can say what we need to say firmly and without an unspoken edge.
Yet what are “Boundaries”? They can seem very elusive, hard to identify when they come into play in any situation. Here are some signs that boundaries are involved:
You feel unable to say ‘no’
You use the phrase ‘he/she/they make me feel ....’
When asked what you want the answer is often ‘I don’t know’, or ‘it doesn’t matter’.
You are overly sensitive to criticism
You pride yourself on ‘going with the flow’
You are afraid of causing offence with your words
You feel for the emotions of others
Take care of others’ needs, but not your own
You are concerned about what others think to the point of discounting your own
thoughts, opinions and intuition
Your energy is so drained by something that you neglect your own needs (including
the need fair payment, meals, time out, etc.)
You find yourself people-pleasing
You avoid intimate relationships
Inability to make decisions
You believe your happiness depends on others
Your feel that your partner is over-dependent on you emotionally or financially
The opinions of others are more important than your own
Have difficulty asking for what you want or need
You are unsure where duty ends and your individual rights begin
You feel anxious or afraid much of the time
You are not sure what you really feel
You take on moods or emotions of others around you
It is a situation familiar to most of us when we have a sense of pressure about meeting the social or working demands of life, and it is as if we’re being eaten alive, used and mistreated by others. The pressure comes from the feeling that we don’t have a choice, prompting resentment and a longing to withdraw and be free of all those demands. On a mundane level, this might be experienced as something like feeling guilty if you don’t click the ‘like’ button on the Facebook posts of your friends, or fearful of causing offence because you need to refuse a request for your time and attention.
For some people these things fuel a constant state of guilt and enormous stress. To say ‘no’ can carry with it such a burden of fear at the consequences that we comply against our better judgement, even to the extent that our sense of identity is challenged. Gradually, as this scenario is played out repeatedly, we get the feeling that we are somehow invisible to others and disrespected by them.
Sometimes instead of withdrawing, we can be driven to explode with our ‘NO!” in a way that seems like an act of basic survival. Or we find ourselves behaving cruelly or tactlessly in a way that we feel guilty about afterwards. This fear at causing offence is sometimes quite unconscious, it is so familiar that it is like the air we breathe.
Yet there are those who are able to say no and have no hang ups about it: “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.” (Warren Buffet.)
In counselling and psychotherapy we can explore our sense of our boundaries, and how they work for us, or against us. By working together with someone non-judgemental, with whom we feel safe, it is possible to express what we feel and say what we need. This can be very difficult yet bit by bit, or in moments of dramatic epiphany, it leads to empowerment and validation.
An example of how this may play out in practise is when we, the client, feel somehow ‘used’ or hurt by something the therapist has said or done. We might feel that there is something insensitive about the therapist’s always ending the session on time. We may not say anything, and carry the resentment through until the next session. If this remains hidden it might cause the end of the therapy as we appear to comply, withdraw or becomes angry and then leave the therapy. Yet the effective therapist will pick up on this unexpressed feeling, and gently help us to speak of it. In this way we experience our own boundaries becoming firmer and clearer, and we are released from resentment. In a safe place we can discover that the other person will survive our expression of our needs, and that we and the relationship thrive.
In this way it is possible to undo the damage of past conditioning that has its roots in abusive relationships, and/or early childhood. Often despite our caregiver’s best intentions for us and because of misunderstanding, we were shamed, humiliated or punished for expressing our needs. Many of us learnt that it was ‘bad’ to put our needs before the needs of others, or perhaps we learnt that it was necessary to impose our own demands too forcefully because we expected to be over- ridden.
We can practise self-assertion in a way that is compassionate to ourselves as well as to others. It frees us from the fear of hurting others when we speak truthfully without resentment. “We do not need to be judgemental, tactless, blaming or cruel when we speak our truths.” (Melodie Beattie).
See my Articles and Workshops page to read more of my articles.
My counselling and psychotherapy, supervision and EMDR are based in 9 Orme Court, Central London W2 and in Market Harborough in Leicestershire within easy reach of Leicester, Northampton, Peterborough, Kettering, Corby, Uppingham, Melton Mowbray, Oakham and Rutland. Also in Fulham at Thrive@SW6, 585A Fulham Broadway, SW6 5UA.
See also my listing on the Counselling Directory
BACP registered counsellor and psychotherapist – UKCP accredited